Hello, 2023!

Could it be considered ironic that someone who is clinically depressed also considers themselves to be rather optimistic? 

It's a new season and I am pleased to say that after a couple of months on a new antidepressant medication, I don't feel like a pile of human garbage all the time! Isn't that keen? As a fairly goal oritented person, I'm also on a mission this year to help destigmatize mental health issues. We'll talk more about that soon.

David wants to tell you that your mental health matters #

It's no secret that I have had a bit of a tough year. Though in recent months I have certainly been less forthright about my struggles, the lingering silence of my life and career as a (hopefully) blooming writer has also been somewhat of an indication. It's hard to interact with others, whether personally or professionally, when one can barely get through the day. In the last year or so, I have struggled signficantly to feel happy, to feel purpose, to find direction. My adulthood has taken paths that I didn't expect and it continues to be an arduous task to figure myself out. But thanks to a lot of hard work, medication, and a great support system, I am doing it. Today, I am happy and I choose to find happiness tomorrow. 

Funny enough, throughout my life, despite my predilection for melancholy and mental health issues, I have alway been the kind of person who seeks out and plans for a better future. I always try. I always want the best for myself and for the people that I love; and it is for this reason that I also really love New Years Eve. Like my wonderful, kind, funny, compassionate, and loving partner Tom, it might actually be my favorite holiday. The New Year always feel like the start of the best opportunity of my life: the chance to be a better person and make the best of this one, small, and precious life we all have. 

So, this year, as I do every year, I'm making a list of the things that I want to accomplish. Being so goal oriented and the absolute perfect image of a 'Type A' personality, I find that documenting my ambitions, big or small, helps me to actually (mostly) achieve them.

In no particular order: 

  • Continue to love writing
  • Build connection with people
  • Read more 
  • Build healthy habits that feel sustainable and normal
  • Sort, downsize, and organize the storage room
  • Makeover the yard & build a garden
  • Land at least one new client
  • Finish my website
  • Organize my music library
  • Play my instruments more often
  • Dance more often
This list may seem like a weird amalgamation of seemingly unrelated tasks but these are the fullest representation of the things that bring me happiness: building a writing career that helps me reach others; fostering wonderful relationships that bring me joy; caring for a home that can be a space of love, creativity, and respite; and finally, making space for the hobbies that give me fulfillment. 

It's taken me a long time, and will likely continue to take me the rest of my life, to give myself the grace I need to find happiness in all things. I do have this tendency to be incredibly self-critical and it is this fixed nature that has probably been the cause of many of my heartaches. Basically, I'm neurotic and have unrealistically high expectations for myself. Who would have thought? But the great part about wanting self-improvement is that even if I don't succeed, the journey is what made the attempts worthwhile. It's possible I won't read as much as I want to or perhaps the self-imposed deadline for finishing my manuscript gets pushed back but that's okay. I've been getting back into running and one of the coaches, Chris Bennett, says that running is not about winning: it's about making the choice to be the best version of yourself a little bit more everyday. 

God, I love being happy. I wish everyone felt this way. 

Before I let you go, I just want to update you on my projects: they are going SO WELL To catch you up, I'm working on three manuscrips at the moment - a memoir (mine), & two non-fiction projects for my clients. Basically, I've been feeling so much better lately and just enjoying my life and my work that making time for leisurely writing has been nill. Though it can be hard somedays to feel motivated, it's so fun challenging myself and finding different ways to express intricate ideas. Someday soon, when I am ready and a little less scared of doing this whole social media thing, I can't wait to share with you my work. Even I love it. 

Love to you all. Here's to making an incredible tomorrow. 

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